Transcreation, examples from an online newsletter, #2

Example from

Le nouveau Figaro à foils sera construit dans une usine dédiée à Nantes

and 

New Bénéteau racing monohull with foils.

To understand the approach taken to the adaptation of this article, it helps to know that the original was first published by Le Télégramme. The newspaper's online tagline is: 

Actualité et infos en direct et en continu sur Brest, Lannion, Lorient, Quimper, Rennes, Saint-Brieuc, Saint-Malo, Vannes et les autres communes de Bretagne.

The French journalist was writing for a local audience that follows maritime and yachting news closely and is assumped to be familiar with the relevant technical jargon.
This contrasts with the Mer et Marine monthly newsletter in English which targets L1* and L2* readers of English working in the marine/maritime/naval industries interested in French innovations.
Hence the need for some periphrases in English to explain technical terms that readers of the French version were assumed not to need.

First, the headline

Compare:
Le nouveau Figaro à foils sera construit dans une usine dédiée à Nantes

and 

New Bénéteau racing monohull with foils.

The French headline highlights the type of boat and where it will be built, which is perfectly logical given Le Télégramme's focus.
The English version focuses on the manufacturer's name and the innovation.

Next the introduction

[FRA] Il y avait foule, samedi 3 décembre, sur la grande scène du Nautic, à Paris, pour la présentation du Figaro 3. Depuis le temps qu'on l'attend ce nouveau monotype ! 
[ENG] The new Figaro Bénéteau 3 made a big impression at the Nautic boatshow.
The mockup presented at the Nautic boatshow in Paris on Saturday 3 December attracted a big crowd. The new ‘one-design’ — a yacht built to a standard design for one-design racing, in this case the Solitaire Urgo Le Figaro event — was on display, after what many felt was a long wait.

* L1: mother-tongue
* L2: second-language

Transcreation, examples from an online newsletter, #1

On 29 May 2015, under the heading Transcreation, I wrote:

What is transcreation?
It's about adapting a client's document in the source language to a specific communication challenge in a target language. Given that the audiences are different, the aims will differ. The process typically combines high-quality translation with new content as appropriate. Passages of little or no interest to the target audience may be deleted. Transcreation enables clients to convey their messages in a way that is relevant and engaging.

In this post I will concentrate on one or two aspects of my approach to the transcreation of articles selected from the Mer et Marine daily news page in French for adaptation into English and publication in the Mer et Marine monthly newsletter in English.

But first I need to explain that much of what is involved in the process of transcreation is based on
(a) explicit information or reasonable assumptions concerning the aims of the original and the target readership, and (b) similar explicit information or reasonable assumptions concerning the aims of the English-language version and the target readership.

The Mer et Marine daily aims are summarised in their presentation statement:

Mer et marine, toute l’actualité maritime.
Media leader de l’actualité maritime : construction navale, défense, shipping, ports, offshore…

which I have rendered as:

Maritime news from France and around the world :  shipbuilding, naval defence, shipping, ports, offshore and more. 

Examples from Amiral Prazuck : « Notre défense commence au large »

Additional information in EN because target readership know less about the subject than Admiral Prazuck

[FRA] La régénération de nos unités qui sont extrêmement sollicitées, bien au-delà des contrats opérationnels définis dans le Livre Blanc.
[ENG] Assets in the highest demand will be refurbished beyond the requirements of the operational contracts listed in the government’s white paper on defence and national security (Livre blanc sur la défense et la sécurité nationale).

[FRA] Pouvez-vous dresser un premier bilan du déménagement de l’état-major à Balard ?
[ENG] Could you also give us a brief report on the move to the Hexagone Balard, the Ministry of Defence’s new joint headquarters?

[FRA] Nous avons quitté une adresse prestigieuse qui nous a hébergés pendant 226 ans à l’Hôtel de la Marine.
[ENG] In July 2015, the naval high command moved out of the Hôtel de la Marine, the imposing classical building overlooking the Place de la Concorde that housed the Navy headquarters for 226 years.

[FRA] Les marins y ont gagné un confort de travail indiscutable.
[ENG] Working conditions in the new HQ, on the southern edge of central Paris, are a huge improvement.

Odd, off-the-cuff term replaced by standard equivalent

[FRA] Enfin leur radar-plaques ouvre de nouvelles perspectives, notamment pour les luttes anti-aérienne et anti-missile.
[ENG] The FTI’s planar array radar will also open up new perspectives, particularly for anti-aircraft and anti-missile warfare.

(The above table is a formatting experiment. My procedure involved several steps. 1) Generate bitext using Terminotix's AlighFactoryLight. 2) Edit bitext using AFL alignment editor. 3) Add explanatory notes in blank cells using AFL alignment editor. 4) Open bitext using browser. 5) Copy & paste browser page into Blogger page. 6) Add character attributes (bold, ital, highlighting) as necessary. 7) Publish.